Criticisms and compliments are constantly given by the handful both online and off but are not always well-received. After all, it can be difficult to accept either one, if we don't completely believe in or like what's being said about us. In E.J.M.'s poem "Truths vs Lies," she examines the sincerity and intentions of others' kind words and delves into the psyche of measuring one's true self-worth.
Early on, her narrator reflects on how it feels to be labeled as "pretty" and "smart," while believing in the latter over the former. She goes on to debate how both of these things can be considered "facts" that pertain to her if they don't feel equally plausible and begins to question the motives behind being described as such by others. As she points out, "pride fills your body / when you praise someone else / so is that why they are saying this? / to only help themself?" Are people really just telling us nice things to make themselves feel better? If this is the case, how can we ever truly know when they're actually being honest with us, if they deliver their lies in the same packages wrapped up in pretty bows as they do with the truth?
Yet, when it comes to letting others see our truest selves, we're not always as forthcoming or honest about it either. The poem's speaker admits, "i have let people tell me who i am / all based on which me they were shown." We do possess an arsenal of different versions of ourselves. There's the version of us who gets to be real; this one is usually reserved for moments when we're alone or surrounded by our closest family and friends. But if we're sad or depressed and don't want others to see us this way, we wear a mask, an armor, usually to make things less uncomfortable for those around us and to protect ourselves from constant scrutiny. But by doing so, we begin to bend the truth more and more in our favor. As a result, their perceptions of us become misguided, and we in turn become the deceivers.
Unfortunately, we give so much power to others' opinions of us, no matter which version they actually meet or how 'real' and 'genuine' we are. It's only natural to want to be valued by other people sometimes; the challenge is finding and maintaining a healthy balance between pleasing others and serving ourselves. E.J.M. shows us that we can look within for the answers we want. "i will nurture my soul / and then i will find people / who have a similar mind." Self-love and surrounding oneself with a great support system can lead to a more positive outlook on life and bring us joy. Filtering out all of those negative views that never benefit us might just be what we need to feel better about ourselves overtime.
She ends her poem on an uplifting message, in hopes of inspiring others to not "let people’s opinions keep you tied / from being the best you." It shouldn't be up to others to decide whether or not we get to consider ourselves attractive or intelligent. Or talented. Or anything else for that matter. We are who we are. We don't need someone else's approval to simply be ourselves.
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